Pachebel Rant









FullScript


Im going to leave you with this little story, its about this piece of music,

its a very popular peace of music I'm sure you all know, im gonna sing the melody right now,

pa da da da, da da da da da da da da da, yeah Pachelbel's Cannon in D, its a big hit in the classical

world and I know this because I'm a geek. I know what you're thinking, its like Rob you cant be a

geek, you play the guitar, you're so cool. Okay you weren't thinking that but i was. Ermm

well I haven't always been this cool because I haven't always play guitar, I started out

on a cello. Yeah a cello is a wonderful beautiful instrument, its cool to be an adult that

plays a cello , being a kid that plays a cello sucked, cause there is no way to be cool when

the instrument is larger than you. When you walk to school with a cello you're like a

wounded gazelle from a Serengeti, the bully smell you coming from a mile away, "oo i dont know

what that thing is but i know im gona break it!" but i put up with all of this abuse because i love

the music that we play, i love everything we play in an orchestra, except this : i hate

Pachelbel's Cannon in D with a passion. I hated so much because the cello part is the worst

cello part ever written in the history of cello parts. its 8 quarter notes that we repeat

over and over again they are as follows : D, A, B, Fsharp, G, D, G, A , and that's all we

gotta play .We repeated those 8 notes 54 times,i counted. Because i have nothing else to do.

I would sit back and listen the violins get lovely melodies, the violas would get lovely melodies

,the second violins will get lovely melodies which should just not happen and the cello we got

stuffed with 8 crappy lousy stinking notes and I began to wonder why , why would Pachelbel do

that to us?such a beautiful instrument and my theory was he once dated a cellist and she dissed

him really bad and for the rest of his life he came up with the worst cello parts he could ever

think of. It won’t be so bad if I didn’t hear him everyday , I know what you’re thinking, you

thinking ‘Rob don’t listen to classical radio anymore’ I- It doesn’t matter . Pachelbel’s following

me. It sounds paranoid but his following you too, you hear him everyday. I don’t know, I went to

my step nephew in law’s 8th grade graduation and their graduation song was a song by vitamin

C, no- As we go on, we’ll remember ya da da (Vitamin C – Graduation), The song I drive home I

turn on to classic rock’s Aerosmith – there was a time , when I was so broken hearted and ya da

da (Aerosmiths – cryin), so I get home and I thought clear my mind with some folk music no -

listen children to my Story it was written long ago, ya da da,( Coven- Listen to my story) damn

you Pachelbel just like everybody does Pachelbel just to torment me. I don’t even go to

Tacobell anymore cause it sounds too close. I hate Pachelbel with a passion I don’t even know his first

name, Its probably Yohan, their all named Yohan. Only thing about it he is an original one hit

wonder, he had one hit 300 years ago its my cross to bear my entire life where are they now

that’s what I want to know, where are you now Pachelbel?! VH1 I love the 1790’s, where is it? I

mean just stay away from the music that I love it will be better but he wont, he is shameless he

will follow me to the ends of the earth. I went to horde festival thinking no he cant possibly follow

me to the horde festival . But you know who is at the horde festival? Blues Traveler , That

means that Pachelbel is also at the horde festival! *Gibberish* moving and you’re in ya da da

(Blues Traveler- Hook) , so I figure out im gona listen to punk rock for the rest of my life no dice

– do you have the time, to listen to me whine, abou- ya da da,(Green day – basket case) you

know im getting really bored, cause all songs have the same damn chords, punk music is a joke ,

its really just broke, and im just paranoid na na na- I wanna push you around and I will and I will

,I wanna push you down and I will (Matchbox20 -push) and wa how, its been good living with

you(Better than ezra – Good) - and my machine head its better than the rest, my machine head

is better than (Bush – Machine head)- see the stones set in her eyes see the thorn twist in (U2 –

with or without you)- Im out all of faith, this is how I feel im cold and I am shamed, lying naked

on the floor (Natalie Imbruglia - torn), He was a boy, she was a girl, can it be anymore obvious

(Avril lavigne – Sk8ter boy) , we’re not gona take it , no we ain’t gona take it (Twister sister –

we’re not gonna take it) , on your mark, get set, and go now/ got a dream and we just know now

( Cyndi Grecco -Making our dreams come true), no woman no cry-ee-ai-ee-ai (Bob Marley –No

woman, No cry), When I find myself in times of trouble Pachelbel is always following me, I’ll see

you in hell Pachelbel, , Oh Pachelbel , Pachelbel, I’ll see your ass in hell , I’ll see you in Hell,

Pachelbel (The Beatles – Let it be) Thank you so much , Enjoy the rest!



KampaiTube's Review

As seen from the video, it was recorded live from some event so there's not much we can say about the production level. Thankfully, the audio is loud and clear so we could all have a good laugh over his jokes (rant). ;)

Pachebel's Cannon in D is well known around the world. So people might be wondering, why rant about Pachebel's Cannon in D? He did a good job in "expressing" the frustration of cello players and how Pachebel is haunting him with the tune wherever he went.

Like how some of the YouTubers commented, one of the best rants ever. It's not annoying but instead so enjoyable to listen to. He did a thorough homework of knowing the songs which use the same tune as Pachebel's Cannon in D which made it even more hilarious when he sang them out. ;D




"Rob Paravonian" is from Brooklyn, post this video up 2 years ago. He has many other videos in his channel as well, so do have a look. We enjoyed his "The Friends Theme and Sugar Ray" video but decided to post this instead as the length and content was more "fulfilling".

Let's hope Pachebel's not haunting us by publicizing this. ;O lol.





KampaiTube's Rating : 7.5 - This is the funniest.



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